A few days ago, I told my friend Alexa that I had told the Universe to "let me be healed, let me find love, or just let me die. I am totally over it." And I meant every single word. I was ready to call the whole thing off and to leave the planet. Please do not misunderstand me. I have lived with depression and have studied every recess of my consciousness relentlessly for a long time, more than 30 years, and I am not "suicidal" in the classic sense where I am going to physically harm myself.
At all.
But this fact *does not* negate the intensity of the emotion. I have sort of had this feeling as a backdrop for many, many years, for various reasons that are just not important to discuss right now. And I have voiced this emotion before. But this time, I was truly ready. I had made my peace with God that I finally knew what love was, and I was prepared to leave the planet now that I had been able to access that for myself. It was a happy thought, really, to know that one had actually completed a life lesson, and could say on his deathbed that it was all worth it. Honestly, I did not think there was a future for me. And in the past 4 days since then, I have been shown things and have accessed dimensions and levels of love emanating from the Creator that have literally brought me to tears, over and over and over again. It is mind-boggling to be given such a gift as this, and I frankly have no idea how it is going to fit into my immediate future. But what I can tell you is that I think I have arrived at the destination where I am supposed to be to begin my "life's calling." I don't even know that I have identified what it is yet, but I don't think it matters. I think it will just evolve, as everything else has evolved, RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!
I know that I had prayed so hard and so long for a loving place to be such as POETS Irvine, with like-minded people who are energy sensitive and who understand what period of history we are present in now. I am so thankful for that group and for its members.
I am so grateful for my dear friends who allow me to be MYSELF, and to allow me to study so that I can find all the clues I left myself so that I could find the way HOME!!!!!
My God, it is a fascinating time to be alive.
LOVE TO ALL
dave
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
OMG... I had the same experience a few years ago... I told God that I was done... I too would not physically take my life. However, I told God, and I too truly meant it, that He promised to never give me more than I could handle and I was at the edge and DONE... for the first time in my life I told my creator to either take me out of this world that I could not bear anymore or fix it... lol Like who the hell am I!!! But, just like your experience, in doing so, God did show me so many things and my perspective began to change... I think the secret was that I finally gave up attempting to try and completely gave my life up to God to control... and just this one action is key... I am not living the life I would choose these days but I am strangely at peace with it all, enjoying the journey, trials and all... I just have to keep reminding myself to get out of God's way when I slip back into attempting to control my life. Everytime I let go I am truly blessed!!! It is refreshing to hear that you have had a similar experience. Thank you for sharing this... I always enjoy hearing from your spirit... You have a way of capturing the essence of intangibles that is truly profound!!! I am blessed and honored to have you in my life my dear friend!!! And, I am SO happy that our creator has brought you into my life... I firmly believe that people are brought into our life for a purpose... know that though you haven't realized the primary purpose for your life as of yet, those who are blessed enough to know you are continually blessed by your amazing spirit and brilliance for capturing the essence of so many things and sharing it in a way that is a refreshing breath of fresh air!!! I know I speak for many when I speak this truth... you are fulfilling your purpose in the lives of so many with each day!!!
Post a Comment