The Valley is Deep

I see myself smiling in this photo. I look happy. It is so strange. How can that photo be the same person that lives in quiet desperation, day after day? 16,558 days to be exact. Single, for 16,558 days and counting.

I want that on my tombstone.

"Tortured by singledom for {insert number here} days."

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Well the epidurals were a great thing. But they don't last long. The left lower quadrant of my back and butt and left leg are so symptomatic that it is overwhelming. Is it because I had the wonderful but brief reprieve from the pain that it now seems so much worse? Is this what I am used to functioning with? Hell no wonder I feel like shit. Time to call the doc.