It has been about 4 weeks since I saw a living human being (besides the clerk at the store). It occurred to me after being totally isolated all during this holiday weekend that the reason that I hate Sunday Nights and holiday Monday nights and Valentine's Day and New Years' Eve and all those times when romantic partners are paired up at home, is that at those times I am able to sense that energy most of all, and I am devastated that I am not a part of it.
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So, there it is. The pain I am most afraid of, the pain that I have been trying to evade all of my life, is here with me, and there is no escape. It was the only reason that I was ever motivated to do anything at all - the promise of a romantic partner. What are you supposed to do when all hope is lost?
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