Lost in the dark, looking for the way out of the maze. Wondering how I am going to do this. Where is the magic pill, the fun that will lift me from despair? Awaken alone, bathe alone, eat alone, navigate the day alone, go to sleep alone, to awaken alone again. There are occasions when others are present. It feels lonely even with the others present, walled-off somehow, separate. Even cast-out. It is a deepening of the feeling mentioned in the recent channeled message about undergoing Judgment - feels just like that.
What can I do? I can start taking meds again. I can try to poke holes in my routine. I can look for companionship and try not to be a toxic presence so as to spoil it. I can sleep. I will not fear the oscillation, since it is not static and since the pendulum will eventually swing.
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