Saturday, October 31, 2009

At VONS at 10:30 p.m....

I bought 4 bags of different Halloween candy on sale. The girl in front of me says," Aren't you a little late? They are in bed!" I replied,"These are for ME, not children!"
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Ah, another Halloween alone at home. It's such a trademark that it is hardly worth mentioning anymore. it was once my favorite holiday, but I think I lost interest the year that I had a party and nobody came. My excitement was piqued again the year I moved to San Francisco, and was going to meet B(W)ill at a bar so that we could walk the streets of the Castro together during the big street party in San Franciso. He did not show up; I cannot remember what happened. I was standing outside a bar and someone called my name, and I whirled around and recognized that it was Eddie, a muscle man who had been flirting with me online for about a year. It never occurred to me when I left Dallas that I would ever meet him. I was in a state of non-belief - but he latched onto me and we spent the entire night together in his penthouse apartment with a view of both the Bay and Golden Gate bridges from his apartment. It was a magical time. I felt like Cinderella at the Ball. Eddie lost interest in me after that night, as do most men who play the sexual conquest game, and I was heartbroken. I was unable to set my dreams into motion while living there; it was just one struggle after another. I decided to leave. Is the pattern repeating again? Alas.
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So what about this disturbing feeling that arises when I am alone? The feeling runs throughout the linear timeline of my life - I can visualize myself in any point along the timeline, at any age, in any place, and feel the same feeling of isolation, ostracization, separateness, loneliness. It is as if I do not belong here and that my presence is a mistake. It is as though I am prevented from becoming an accepted member of the planetary society by some unknown force. If it is true that the outer reality is merely a mirror of the inner reality, then it would stand to reason that I am somehow not able or willing to accept my own presence here. It is as though after my arrival to this planet I saw what was going on and decided that I did not want to be here after all, that I did not feel I could make a difference in the way things were here, and that I decided that the mission was aborted automatically by virtue of the fact that certain conditions that need to be in place are not possible, rendering my mission impossible. What are the conditions? What is the mission? I am intrigued by all of these feelings and wonder if I will ever come to terms with it on a conscious level.
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To have a home filled with Love is my fondest desire, even though it now appears to be nothing more than an imaginary tale in a novel on the shelf of some dusty library. And still I hope that one day I will have a house full of loving devotees, excited about sharing our time together, improving each others' lives as best we can. But for now, a Baby Ruth will do.
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I INTEND, THAT I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE THE FULLEST EXPRESSION OF LOVE THAT I AM IN EACH MOMENT!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I have a fan club!

Jesse misses me writing about where I'm at in my growth and discovery path. How cool is that!
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To indulge him I will say this. I have turned a corner in my physical healing and am beginning to feel that I have some sense of stability, however small, whereas before I just felt like a turtle with no shell - no support - as if I were going to break. This year I found myself in a horrific mental dungeon, because month after month after month it felt as though the surgical trauma had just happened yesterday. I am now aware of an increase in stamina, and a perception that enough time has elapsed since the trauma that it is starting to fade into memory. This may take quite some time, but at last it is underway.
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So, it makes perfect sense that I would also be feeling relief from the depths as I crawl out of the emotional dungeon that was my home for so long. My God! How is it that we have evolved so far in medicine to do the incredible things surgeons do to our bodies and yet still be so clueless about dealing with the emotional aftermath? The silver lining is that from this, I have strengthened my perspective about the importance of compassion, civility, and sincerity. We must offer our best even to strangers because none of us is capable of understanding or knowing what burdens others carry.
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I am also pleased to say that while I still hold the sincere desire for a companion, a lover, a partner, to be here with me intimately, to be connected, to satisfy the sex maniac inside me, I no longer fear the absence nor succumb to the black hole of desperation about being single. In my newly evolved state of awareness, I find that nothing less would be satisfying for me, and I am content to wait for it to present itself, as it will effortlessly, as does everything when you simply go with the flow. That surprises me most of all.
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I find that I am much more aware of my own energy or light body, and am becoming more aware of the energy bodies of others, which can be overwhelming and I have to spend extra time grounding. It is also a challenge to remain on the sidelines and allow others to make bad decisions or intentionally or unintentionally harm themselves or others, or to create a reality that they do not intend to have by mistakenly focusing on the wrong things, but I must remain on the sidelines. Others have lessons to learn and soul contracts and all sorts of things that means it would be arrogant of me to think that my opinion was supreme. It is not. Yet I hate to see unnecessary suffering.
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I find that I am unapologetically a complete lap dog, and will one day be content as I sit perched in the lap of an intimate companion, not unlike ones that I have now, except that he will be ready, willing, able, and available to reciprocate the enthusiasm. If pleasure is a sin, let me be the first to congratulate the Devil; he wins. This includes the pleasure of intimacy of all kinds - intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical, each standing alone or of any combination - I'll take one of each, thank you. And I shall have it!
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Pain doc says now that I feel more stable I should begin walking 3 MPH on the treadmill, and to use the bicycle thing for your arms to use mild resistance to rebuild my connective tissue and muscles before doing any use of weights or machines or anything like that. The counselor and I are working on my purpose and my peeps (where to find like-minded peeps!), so as to try to focus my attention and begin to move to some sort of goals, however small, instead of just being adrift like I was when dealing with the trauma and pain. Surgeon is happy as a clam with the results. I wish he could climb in here and get a taste of it.
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My mother is very pleased to hear me so excited about the prospect of living where I said I wanted to live when I retired, in such a nice apartment; she worries about me when I am down. She is always so strong. I remember thinking, when she was getting a kidney transplant, that I did not want to live that badly. But I am stronger now. And I have grown to love living again. I had given up on life in about 2005. So my boys downstairs came along at just the right time. Now, what happens naturally in a loving relationship is that when that love is tossed into your bucket, all the shit and slime come jumping out, and must be released. If we can just recognize this pattern, and remember that immeasurable love means that lower vibrating stuff can no longer stay inside you, and is of course going to come up and get out one way or another, and then simply release the old stuff as it arises - then we'd be able to more easily navigate the energy field in which we live.
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So that's kind of where I'm at. I will not claim that I never feel anxious or lonely or that I don't sometimes go insane because I crave the touch and feel of skin, in the same way that a blind person craves sight, because that would be a lie. I do sometimes still feel as though I am missing out on something and that I am incomplete, even though this feeing is irrational. But I feel that change and growth are occurring, and for that I am grateful and give thanks to everyone involved. The feeling of being small no longer dominates my emotional state. "I am bigger than I seem."
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For any role I played in creating any negative reality,
I am so sorry;
Please forgive me.
I Love You.
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I INTEND TO ALLOW MYSELF TO BE THE FULLEST EXPRESSION OF LOVE THAT I AM IN EACH MOMENT!

A new way to deal with negative emotions that surface after a spiritual high

A message from Sarah Biermann
October 29, 2009

The people I work with (play with!) are wonderful. They are so willing to uncreate all the belief systems, past hurts and other limitations and to embrace radical transformation! I love what I do because I get to spend time with these courageous and creative people.

Generally we have a lot of fun and move a lot of energy. At the end of a session they feel really different, clear, peaceful and confident. Sometimes, a few days later they experience what seems like all the old crap coming back in the form of negative emotions or dramas in their lives. What is going on with that?

When you make a shift in consciousness (release limitations and raise your frequency), everything that doesn’t match the frequency of the new awareness will automatically come up and out for clearing. This could be emotions, thoughts, mental patterns and even physical symptoms.
I’ll use the metaphor of water to represent the programming, beliefs, suppressed emotion etc. that we all carry. This water is held in a vessel (your energetic system). When something is dropped into the water, then some of the water is splashed out.

When you clear a lot of old programs and emotions and regain more of your true self like during an ImagiCreation session, your frequency raises. We'll call that shift a jewel or gem. When the gem is tossed into the water, what splashes out is everything that was limiting you in the past.

Another way that a gem can be tossed into your vessel is when something really loving and supporting is given to you. Imagine someone telling you that (s)he loves you very much. That's a nice big gem getting tossed into your glass. What splashes out is all the energy of feeling "un-lovable".

Splash-out is what causes the let down after Christmas. You get all these fabulous presents and the next day you feel disappointed.

Have you ever had the experience of spending a glorious day with a lover? You have shared an intimacy greater than ever before. Then something happens... Somebody makes a comment that starts a fight or at least creates bad feelings and distance between you. You had such lovely intimacy (the gem) and all the stuff that has prevented you from having intimacy in the past will come splashing out!

The reason the "negative" emotions are stored is that we have never had a safe space in which to feel them. Whether it was your father telling you that “big boys don’t cry” or your spiritual teacher telling you that you are supposed to stay in the positive emotions and “transmute anger into love”, basically, we are not supposed to feel or express fear, anger, hopelessness and shame. So when the splash-out comes up, most of the time we try to push is back down. What happens next is drama! When you suppress the splash out then you will create or be attracted to a dramatic experience that brings up those feelings because your energetic system want to discharge those emotions.

Example:
A woman has the experience of true intimacy. She receives the "gem" of respect, appreciation, and lovability. A couple of days later she wakes up one morning feeling low. She isn't feeling good about herself (old shame and low self worth). But she doesn't want to feel that, and besides, she has to go to work.

At work she has to talk to lawyer on behalf of a client. He makes really rude and insulting comments to her out of no-where. Usually, she would be able to handle this, even though it is offensive, but today she blows her stack. She throws the phone down and refuses to talk to the man again. This is a very upsetting experience for her and she has a big emotional reaction.

What happened? Because she didn't experience and clear the emotions when she became aware of them, she created a drama that compelled her to have the emotions.

Splash-out is happening on a global basis as well. As we move closer to the 2012 date (and so many of us are transforming ourselves personally) higher frequencies are flowing into the planet. This is like shining a light into a filthy room that has been closed for years or centuries. Now we can see that smelly, nasty stuff once again. All the hidden things that reside in the lower frequencies of fear, shame and greed are being exposed. People who are carrying suppressed emotions and have no awareness of this process are being triggered. This can manifest as aggression (especially to “protect” areas of fear or shame), depression and, of course, drama.

If some of the old, negative emotions or thoughts come up. Instead of thinking, “Oh no, all this stuff is coming back again”, realize that these things are on the way out. Usually what splashes out is the opposite of whatever gem went in. Realize that this is a good thing, a symptom of your path to clarity and joy!

Once you recognize the emotion as splash-out, say to yourself, "Yea, here it comes, up for clearing!" Go into it, feel it, experience it. I think you will be surprised at how quickly it is gone. Your mind will want to attach a meaning or context to the emotions and try to figure it all out. That’s its job after all; to perceive sensory information and relate it to something it already knows. Tell your mind (yes, you can talk to it!) that it doesn’t need to figure this out; that what is needed is to simply feel it as it moves out of you.

The emotion that most of us old souls have the most resistance to is anger. It is not “spiritually correct” to get mad. Instead we try to figure out what we need to do, clear or change about ourselves so that we will no longer attract the person or situation into our lives. “What am I doing wrong that causes my boss to be so mean to me?”

One thing that I have found is that anger is usually your systems way of letting you know that you are giving away your power in some way. The more you suppress it, the more likely you are to create or be attracted to situations that trigger your anger.

Welcome to the Spiritually Incorrect Room!
This space is sealed off from everything else. There are no possible repercussions, physical, or spiritual (karma). What happens in the Spiritually Incorrect Room stays in the Spiritually Incorrect Room! J
Within this room there is NO spiritual correctness allowed. That means no “I statements”, no prefacing with things like, “I know that you are doing the best you can…” or “I really do love you…” This is where you give voice to the angry child who is sick and tired of everybody having power over her/him. This is where you get to call names, swear, and even hit or stab.

For those of you who are thinking, “I would never do that!” get over yourself! There is a part of you that would like to, just once, tell the ex-spouse, boss, landlord, bank/financial institutions or perhaps even your Higher Self what you really think about them. If you knew that you would not go to Hell, get bad karma or loose points for being spiritual because you actually said or did these things, wouldn’t it be fun? (No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.)

The really fun part of the Spiritually Incorrect Room is that there are big, burly bodyguards that hold the person for you. You can even use a gag. Seal the room and then have at it! Tell them what you really think about them. Call names and even swear at them. Tell them that they will never treat you like that again! Tell them that you demand respect. Poke a finger into their chest or kick and punch if that feels better.

Keep at it until you feel peaceful and powerful once again. You deserve to be treated with respect. You are the most powerful being in your reality. It is OK to say, “I’ve had enough!”

Now we play a bit with the Star Trek Holodeck. Tell the computer to delete the offending program from your reality. Remember this is a sealed space. You are not killing anyone. What you are deleting is your own projection of that person as having power over you. Watch them be deleted from your reality. Doesn’t that feel good?
As we move ever closer to 2012 and ascension there will be more of the old, shadow energy coming up, personally and globally. The more you are able to clear your own material the less you will be triggered. And the more you will be able to keep your consciousness anchored in the New Reality. It’s not about always being positive (and therefore judging the negative). It is about having allowance for it all, which means stepping out of polarity, and from there having a chance to choose what you would like to experience and create.

On October 24th I hosted a free teleseminar about negative emotions, the Spiritually Incorrect Room and how to handle the upcoming events and energies on the planet. You can access the teleseminar here: http://limitless-one.com/index.asp?ID=107


Sarah Biermann - Teacher, Intuitive Counselor, Energy Healer, Writer and Artistwww.limitless-one.com - Email: sarah@limitless-one.com

Forgiveness

The Lightbody Energy Re-Wire Your Circuits

Simply incredible - allow yourself to move into your light body. I want to record this meditation and play it on the way to sleep.

"I greet you beloved family. I feel as if I reach out to each one of you and embrace you here in this space where you are. Feel my presence as I come into each room in which you are located and as I come into you, you the human while you are still here fully grounded upon the earth.

Just as that one individual spoke of before we began this journey. I am moving along with you throughout your daily life. There are so many of you now, who are working with my energies that it allows for an even greater amount of my essence to be here and present upon the earth, and I appreciate that.

In part this is in response to what each of you have done for yourselves and your own life. It also represents what the world consciousness is doing. No longer does anybody need to feel isolated from others. If you do, and you are reading this or listening to this, then allow your heart to open up and I invite you to take in a deep breath breathing into your heart center and feel my essence. But also feel the essence of everyone else, who is earthbound and who is also here as part of this cohesive group. As I am inviting you to do this right now, it is as if I see bands of light that surround the earth. You are also linking with other people, who may not follow what I am saying but they are of a similar vibration and therefore they link in with these energies whenever the flow is more pronounced as it is at this time.

While we are still here and earthbound, I invite you to feel your frequency. Feel that essence or that energy as it is swirling up-and-down through you. As you feel it be aware of how you can expand, contract; how you may choose to shift it upwards or downwards. It does not take long for you to have a full understanding of how you can work with this. I salute you!

I wanted to take this extra time before we begin the journey so that each one of you would have the opportunity to feel and recognize how expanded, how tuned in you are, while still here and grounded before we have even begun the journey. If you feel as if there is no difference within you then be not concerned. Simply breathe in the anticipation of or an allowing energy of love and let that flow through you.

Take in one more really deep breath, breathing consciously all the way down, breathing through your lungs into your heart all the way down into your abdomen. Link with the energies of the earth and then allow that to come back up within you. And then from there have a sense of reaching upwards towards the magnetic grid. As you do so, let your consciousness release and allow it to fully connect within this space. As you find yourself aligning, you may become aware of your energies. This is where your higher self resides. Feel who you are, feel how comfortable this is for you.

We will continue to shift, allow your energies to move, there is an interlocking grid that allows you to move into the crystalline grid work. As you arrive feel what this does for your consciousness. Feel how these energies swirl within and around you, as they support you. Especially since you've been working with the light body energy, you may find that there is a greater blending of your consciousness within the crystalline grid. You may also find that you are aligning within the grid work at a different or a higher vibration than you have been in the past. Even if your daily life has not yet fully reflected the transformation you've been going through, it is evident when you come here within this space.

As you feel your vibration and you look around you, perceive all that is here. More and more of the energies that are coming into the earth are here within the crystalline grid. Allow yourself to align with that which feels good to you. Have a sense of shifting. You leave the energy of this crystalline behind and you find yourself moving into the energy of the soul plane. This is where you find yourself linking with your divinity. Feel yourself blend. Feel your essence as you reach out and then allow this integration to be complete and to move through you in such a way that you are very conscious of who you are while here and present within your I AM presence. Open to feel the love, open to feel the complete acceptance of who you are in this lifetime.

As you are blending within your divinity see what it feels like, if only for this moment, you don't have to prove anything to yourself or anybody else. You need only be. Just allow yourself to be fully present. Allow yourself to be nurtured, loved and supported. And recognize that there is complete acceptance, let that wash through you.I the Goddess now move here through the space in which you are. As I move through I reach out to each one of you and I embrace you. You may have a greater sense of my presence since we had linked while still on the earth plane. But now as I'm blending with you, I assist you in shifting your energies into the All That Is.

Look around. Open your senses even further, this space is different, is it not? Some of you may have a sense of noticing more detail than you've ever noticed before. Others of you may notice that you have a greater awareness within your own self of who you are.The vibration or the essence of the All That Is reflects what you are doing as a group. Within the All That Is, it is as if there are many different rooms. There is a transparent alignment that flows from one to the other. But this is a space that evolves, just as each of you are evolving in your own life.

No matter who links within here, they align with whatever aspect or vibration within the All That Is, most resonates with them. So for you, you may be very aware of how the lightbody energy is here. It's an energy or a vibration that makes up this entire space. Feel it within you and recognize how it is assisting you with your own lightbody energies.The last few times that we have gotten together as a group, the lightbody energies themselves have spoken with you. (Referring to the Goddess teleconferences from October 4, 2009 and September 20, 2009
http://www.goddesslight.net/goddess-channels/ ) They remain a consciousness, and they are a part of this entire consciousness in which you find yourself. I merge my energies with them, but I am going to continue to speak with you, relaying what they are doing with you at this time.

This next step in the human evolution into lightbody energy -- I have to say to you that phrase came straight from them, it makes me chuckle a little bit! But anyway the next phase is going to be working with you on your electrical system within your body.

To do this, I invite you to have a sense of letting your consciousness expand in such a way that you are present here within this space and yet there is a stream of energy that links you directly with your human physical body. Now, as if you are allowing yourself to relax back, as if you perhaps are lounging within this space, perhaps lying down within the space; whatever gives you a sense of feeling very comfortable and relaxed. Let that permeate throughout you.This consciousness of the lightbody begins to move. It surrounds each one of you and as if you are cushioned and supported by it you begin to feel how it's moving through your consciousness. It's as if there are little fine impulses of energy that move through you in such a way, it clears out anything that would keep you from being fully open to this experience.As you find yourself relaxing even more, be aware of this energy beginning to flow through your consciousness. In this state of your consciousness, there is a great deal of your own lightbody energy. It begins to flow through and it is as if it's starting at the top of your head. There is a sense of these tiny little filaments of energy moving through you.

Breathe deeply and breathe easily. Allow it to work with you in such a way that the circuitry within you moves through an adjustment. For some of you it is as if it is opening up greater pathways of energy so that you have the ability to send and receive impulses to a greater degree. For others of you we have a sense of it actually working on the electrical impulses that move through your physical body. And I will be very clear here that never at any time, will this create such an adjustment that it would cause you to feel something dramatic or something that might make you feel uncomfortable. What it is doing is it's working on the impulses of energy and light that comes through your heart as it beats and it sends it throughout your heart as your heart is strengthening and your heart center is expanding.

If you feel any discomfort, breathe in the soothing, calming energy of your lightbody and let it go. These impulses of energy move up, it goes through your nervous system, you may feel it going down your arms and your legs, you may feel it as if the very skin of your body is transitioning and adjusting in such a way.

I have to smile. Some of you give off the sense or the essence of having put your finger in an electrical outlet and you're just vibrating and levitating from where you were! I invite you to feel this with ease and feel it with calm. Oh, I hear you... some of you are saying, 'but I like the dramatic'. So by all means allow it to be as dramatic as you would like it to be. Whether this is very subtle or you feel dramatic physical changes in your body, it is having an effect upon you. That stream of consciousness going directly down into your physical body is allowing you to feel the effects of this adjustment in your consciousness. And it feels complete.I invite each one of you to have a sense of feeling a cool and soothing energy moving through you. It moves through your consciousness, it moves through your energy patterns and it allows you to feel expanded, more aware, more in alignment and yet you also feel a sense of absolute knowing. You as your consciousness within this space are completely aligned with your I AM presence.

Look around at your divinity, open to perceive more and more than perhaps you have in the past. This essence that you are picking up upon is purely you. I hear some of you thinking, 'Oh that must be the Angels, that must be the lightbody or perhaps that's the Goddess' and I say to you, no.Anything that you are perceiving in this moment is your essence. It is you in a fully connected, fully activated, completely open vibration. It's as if the circuitry that flows through and around your consciousness is allowing you the opportunity to see and sense more than you ever have before. Take it in, absorb these energies until it feels as if this is the normal you. This is you in your everyday life. Let it be who you are.

Again have a sense of letting your consciousness come back within in, in such a way that I invite you to consider what so ever it is you are creating within your life. How I chuckle at the people that come up with their scroll that lasts for an endless length of time. And yet I see others with a list of one item. Your life upon the earth is a life of moving from experience to experience.There are times in which it feels as if you are perhaps battered about or perhaps it is the world making choices for you. No matter what your perception may be, no matter where these influences are coming from; you are creating your life. You create it with the thoughts that you have, your belief system. You create it with your emotions. You create it through your interaction with other people. Sometimes you create through lack.

In this moment, I invite you to create an intention of where you see yourself within your life. As if you are there in the middle of this picture, we'll call it, and then you see moving out from you all the different things that are a part of your life, your relationships, you work, your environment. Those are the physical things around you. And then see another aspect of this as the beliefs, the beliefs that make up who you are. Your emotions; are your emotions creating a sense within you that keeps you from being able to fully connect with or align with this energy? By this energy I am talking about this energy of your life that you are creating.

Look around, see the many levels or dimensions that come into and make up what this is. Then breathe deeply, breathe easily and through the alignment with your consciousness send forth an impulse or an energy of light that links your consciousness with what you seek to have, where you see yourself, whatever it may be that you just created. And be open to become aware if there is anything that keeps you from being in that space.

By focusing upon your lightbody energies and your frequency and this greater perception that moves through you as a result of this shifting of your actual circuits of energy within you; be open to perceive how you can shift your perception, perhaps your vibration, perhaps your beliefs. Whatever it may be, take this opportunity to shift and let go anything that keeps you from being in that complete alignment.

I encourage you not to over analyze this. I encourage you to put forth the intention that you create your life and then from your consciousness and through your heart, you automatically create whatever vibration or alignment is needed that manifests what you seek within your life.By keeping out of the analytical, you allow for the greater flow to work for you. You have worked hard within your life and to get to where you are right now. So now is the time for allowing. Now is the time to open and let this vibration or this essence of your own consciousness to create these alignments for you.

If you find yourself struggling breathe in the sense of allowing. If you find yourself stuck, breathe in the sense of allowing. If you find yourself as if on a roller coaster wildly out of control, breathe in the sense of allowing. No matter what, the essence of allowing is what creates the pathway of your vibration into what you seek to have. So let that move throughout your consciousness, let it move through out you.I now invite all of you to come back together as a group. As you do so feel your essence coming somewhat more together. Maybe perhaps less expanded, whichever way you want to perceive it, but let all of this come together and you may have a sense of the others around you.

I will share with you my perception of where you are now. When we first began to do these journeys and everyone would come together as a group, it was as if they were individual soul energies. I could go around the group and determine or perceive who each individual soul essence was. As you come together now and you create this group energy, it would be a challenge to discern one from another. This group energy now is a blended light that I know is filled with the individual essence of each one of you. But rather than each person as a singular essence, it's now each person, but as a part of the whole and there is only the whole that is able to be perceived.I think this is beautiful! I think it is glorious the ways that the energies and the vibrations have shifted. So within, this conscious essence of all of you, it's as if there is a separation and coming up within it, is a hologram that represents the earth. As I've spoken in the past, there is the hologram of the earth and the hologram of the new earth. If you so choose to put forth what you have created for yourself infuse it into this hologram. But there is less of a need for people to do that.

The hologram as it moves through such a blended consciousness of the energy - or energy of consciousness - is already picking up, underlining with everything that took place upon this journey. That aspect that represents the hologram for the new earth begins to shift in such a way that it separates as if it comes forth or as it to give you a perception of something different.

The vibration in which you find yourself right now is such that the energies of the new earth are almost identical. But you have a sense of sending that forth. You send it out and it moves through space or consciousness or whatever you want to think of it and it aligns with the new earth as a means of assisting in the creation of those energies with your consciousness as humans. And then the rest of this, that makes up the hologram of the earth, shifts in such a way that it moves as if moving downwards or as if moving outward. It moves through the crystalline grid, it aligns with the magnetic and an aspect of that energy moves throughout the magnetic grid so that it assists to shift this essence or this energy. From there it continues moving downward. It's as if it moves through this energy of the earth. It goes all the way down blending with the physical earth until it encounters those crystals within the center.

From there it expands outward. It comes back up through the earth itself, moving through that vibration, moving through that essence and it comes out through the earth, the trees, the flowers, the rivers, the waters the oceans, through every aspect upon the earth. It creates an alignment with all that lives and exists upon the earth in such a way that this vibration of the lightbody is able to be integrated more fully, and then you release that.I invite each one of you to have a sense of shifting your consciousness. You may pause upon the soul plane, if you so choose. But the majority find that you shift your consciousness in such a way that you move into the crystalline grid. From there your energy shifts, it moves through the crystalline creating a sense or an essence of alignment and balance throughout this grid. This alignment and balance represents all those energies that you work with on a daily basis. It also represents what took place during this journey so that it is available to you with ease.

Shift your consciousness so that you can move back through the magnetic grid. As you align with your higher self, feel this essence expand and feel it flow through all that is here. Again, this time as if you are grounding your energies back within you have a sense of breathing deeply, gently, easily and let all of that come back in through you. Let it come back through your head center, let it move throughout your physical body. As its moving through your physical body, have a sense of allowing all that transformation that took place with the circuits within you become align with this energy. And then as you are coming back within yourself you may feel as if you are more vibrant, more awake, more aware than you ever have been before.This is all a means of allowing you an even deeper integration within your lightbody. As you do that, you will find the energies moving through you in such a way that it is who you are; rather than something outside of you that still needs to be balanced. There is a balance that is automatic and ever present and again as you think of what you seek to manifest in your life or create, feel it from this place on the earth plane as it's moving through you and as it is moving towards all that you seek to have.Create an alignment that let's go anything that keeps you from fully manifesting whatever this may be. See that vibration and alignment as been consistent. Embrace what it feels like to actually have or be whatever your heart desires."

http://snoedel.punt.nl/?r=1&id=481989

This is Shelly Dressel channeling the Goddess of Creation; the feminine aspect of source essence, for the free teleconference offered on the first and third Sundays of each month. All rights are reserved. You are welcome to share this information; we just ask that you keep it intact. For further channels and information on both the Goddess and Shelly please see our website: www.goddesslight.net

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Metatron - amazing beautiful uplifting message

Thursday, October 22, 2009

It is a day of new beginnings. It is the dawn of a new era. It is the light of hope shining brightly to restore your faith in the path that has led you through the mire of human mis-creation.

I AM Metatron, greeting you in your vibrational home, that of the 5th dimension. Welcome warriors.We, the holders of light and keepers of the flame, come forth this day and on this unprecedented occasion to present each of you with your well-earned robes of honor!You, those who read these words and take them deep into the inner recesses of your lighted heart flames, step forth in the name of oneness to herald the new day.Our beloved countenance has fallen upon you and you have risen to claim it. You have held your composure in the name of adversity & great human strife. You have sown the seeds of new life. You have healed the great divide in separation consciousness, and you have worn your dignity well.

You, the first wave warriors, are the new leaders, the bright lights that will shine upon the darkest hours. You are the fallen angels, resurrected and reborn into your rightful place as forerunners, path-pavers and pioneers of a new earth.Brothers and sisters of light, pray tell.We are your family... we are the realm that you now inhabit and we come with you, to walk hand in hand into this familiar, yet foreign land. This new territory that you have dutifully claimed as your own now holds you in vibrational alignment with all that is God's glory.You have presented an opportunity for all of earth's inhabitants to grow toward the light, to reach out and claim what rightfully belongs to each and every one of God's children. You are those who have made this journey possible for all.

Praise yourselves and come together now to praise each other, to hold each other up and to share your love for and with one another... for this magnificent adventure could not have been made possible without your divinely-human strength and blind endurance in faith of a better world.We cry tears of joy and dance in fields of greater potential for earth's people, and we come together this day to celebrate with you, in honor of you and to show you that you are the ones we have all have been waiting for!We are your co conspirators in creation of the higher way, but it is you who has made this journey possible. We share that darkness is soon to fall on your planet once more, yet again to shake the foundation of those who are still deeply steeped in the depths of greed and hate.

We say this to you not to heed warning, but as a reminder that in this coming transition, you are the keepers of the christed flame, you are those who others shall turn to in their darkest hour. You have been well prepared for this role and you are about to exercise your mastery most profoundly.In the light of the next full moon, there will be a changing of the guard. This change will commence as a result of new galactic and interstellar alignments that will precede the entrance of a new cycle.This new galactic cycle is a pivotal step in consciousness that will again expose the outworn ways and disrupt the flow of any system based in separation. We assure you that no stone will be left unturned in the coming days, months and years. For this reason it is paramount that each of you, the masters of light, remain diligent in your thinking, anchored in truth, and that your actions stem forth from a place of love.

Stay in your space of hopefulness and joy and regard those who begin to awaken as the same shimmering radiant beings of light that you have heartily become. For deep down, beneath all of the calamity and chaos passing thru the heart of every soul, is the flickering flame of eternal goodness which never ceases to burn.My friends, stand tall and proud. Your efforts have marked the most significant and magnificent transformation ever to have been achieved on this beautiful planet of love.Yes, Love is the new standard now that you have achieved it. Love is the action that you have put forth in remembering your worth...love is the action that you have put forth in remembering your power...and love is the action that will heal every wound, feed every mouth and reunite the world under one God, indivisibly, with liberty and justice for all.

Let these words seep deeply into the core of your divine essence, your sacred blueprint, for Love will soon become the common denominator for all fellow lifeforms on this planet.Love is the potion, the elixir of all miracles. Love is the feeling of completeness, the experience of overflowing fullness, of having it all and sharing it all... for anyone in Love knows that there is always more to be had. The lives and experiences that each of you knew were yours to have are now attainable...not by your wanting them, but by the love that has filled you up to replace all wants, all needs. In the purity of divine love there is no want, no lack, only that which is whole can exist in pure love.Have you never wondered why the human body exists with little sustenance...food, water, rest....when in the throes of new romantic love?

Think on this dear ones, and know that the physical release of endorphins activated by new romance results from the rapid increase in vibration that sustains you in love, reminding you of what it is to be home again.Waves of love-filled bliss will surely overcome you here, as you adjust to the new heights. These waves will continue to pulsate through every cell of your eternal being-ness, altering your genetic and physical makeup, resurrecting all in its lighted path and releasing those same endorphins that sustain you in Love.

And in this space you will want for no longer. It is not as if you will be without, for you will undoubtedly have it all...but the difference...the important difference my friends, is that you will not need it all. You are merging into completeness within yourselves, that which activates the universal source of abundance to fulfill you in all ways.

Surely you knew where this path was leading, now lets observe how you fare! Surely it will take some getting used to...yes? We will be with you to guide you to use your newly acquired powers and we will continue to offer you ways to grow and to attain higher and higher levels of mastery... but in truth, you already have all you need to live & dwell in grace.

Our love for each of you is unending and soon you will understand just how and why you are revered so dearly as humans of sublime virtue.Stay tuned for many life changes arriving to carry you into the glory land. All is divinely orchestrated and only a force greater than God could alter the path that each of you have selflessly paved in love of humanity.

Sacrifice and commitment to the service of ALL will never go unnoticed or unrewarded, so we join with you now to celebrate, to dance, to sing and to praise all the warriors of the way!It is now.

With great reverence, and in union with our lighted family on earth, I AM Metatron, guardian of the kingdom of heaven, keeper of the christed flame.Again, we are one.Telepathic Transmission thru Lauren C. Gorgo at ThinkWithYourHeart.netDid u enjoy this post? Now U can thank me with a donation!Copyright © 2009 - Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this transmission on the condition that the content remains complete and in tact, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely.

"I am bigger than I seem."

This affirmation is given by the Polaris Rising Digest to combat any victimhood behavior or other martyr behavior which does create a vacumm into which energy can flow. This way, by saying "I am bigger than I seem," we can instantly stop the getting smaller and instead begin to expand. We can then project our own energy which will then be mirrored and magnified. I am looking very forward to trying this exercise.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Amother amazing message of Love.

25 October 2009 - 5:17pm
Channeler: John Smallman

As humanity’s spiritual development continues to unfold rapidly, much is being done to assist that development. You are all spiritual beings apparently enclosed in bodies, and although many of you know intellectually that this is so – and many, many more of you are coming to this realization – it is still immensely difficult for you to live your lives in a way that is in agreement with this knowledge.
At present, in your illusory reality, your bodies do seem to be very real, very solid, and your physical senses most strongly confirm this. You are easily distracted from your spiritual activities by a variety of bodily sensations. We in the non-physical realms are constantly assisting you in your quest to confirm, stabilize, and strengthen your intent to experience God’s love. This quest is difficult, for distractions are frequent and appear to be very important as they insist on your attention.

As you learn to be less attached to outcomes and results, you will also learn to accept others as they are, instead of focusing on their aspects that seem unreasonable or wrong. You will come to appreciate that your spontaneous judgments and assessments, which occur almost instantaneously, are invalid. They are not the person. Then you will begin to become aware of and acknowledge the true beauty within them that your previous attitudes had prevented you from noticing.
This is a moment of awakening that brings with it much joy, because when you start to see the beauty in others, your sensed need to persuade them to change their behavior falls away, and you cease feeling that it is your responsibility to change them, or indeed to change the world. You have started to accept yourself as you are, instead of focusing on and judging the inadequacies that you see in yourself. And it is this acceptance that you can now share with others. Yes, as humans, you make many errors, some very painful, that cause suffering for yourselves and others, but these errors are learning experiences of great value for all whom they affect, and by accepting them and not judging them you allow clarity, instead of guilt or blame, to show you the lesson’s intent. Once that occurs there is no need to repeat it. This brings a great sense of peace, and increasingly the errors you make become less frequent, less painful, and more easily corrected.
Truly this is the path to ascension, to enlightenment. When you release judgment, blame, and condemnation, and accept what occurs just as it is, corrections to the situation can be made much more easily and swiftly to the satisfaction of all concerned, because no one has any need to defend himself or justify his actions. What happened happened, and will be corrected. An apology may or may not be appropriate, but once acceptance is the order of the day, correction can start at once.
Living in peaceful cooperation with one another is an essential lesson that needs to be well learned and put into practice – unlearned, ascension and enlightenment are impossible.
You all know this, because you have all at times behaved in this fashion with friends or loved ones, and have greatly enjoyed the satisfaction and warmth the experience brought you. So now it is necessary to extend this enlightened attitude to every area of your life, even if you seem to be alone in your endeavors. Walking your talk, visibly living your beliefs, is the only demonstration that has the power to show you, without any shadow of a doubt, that your will is one with your Father’s. And when you live like this you will know that you are divinely helped and divinely loved in every moment.
With so very much love, Saul.
http://johnsmallman.wordpress.com/

Making Plans to Get My Life Back.

A to-do list seems so not the the thing to do here, and yet it has a place. At least focusing on the various aspects of what I intend to accomplish by identifying them and documenting them seems to be necessary. Since I have discovered that I am unable to fit the Palm Springs vacation home into my budget, it is time to try to reconfigure how it is that I am going to be able to live naked in the sun, to regain mobility and strength while facing pain, to reintroduce pleasure into my every day existence, long since stolen by pain, depression, misunderstanding and isolation.
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It ms my intention that I allow myself to be the fullest expression of Love that I Am in each moment.
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What does that look like? It looks like visiting with people who are important to me, even if nothing more than a hello and check-in with each person, to acknowledge them and to hear them, as often as possible. This makes my heart sing! Truly, if I were able to do this, it would make a big difference in the way that I experience daily life. It will require reaching out. It is the connection with Source, when the energy of Love flows through and to us when we are in the presence with or in thought with our loved ones that sustains Life itself. It is our reason for being. It is our challenge to greet *everyone* with this same Love of the Creator, to acknowledge and to hear everyone, helping them tune in with their own flow of Universal Love.
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So what would I prefer that my life look like, from day to day?
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The ability to stretch, walk, and work toward regaining motion and stamina, now that I am becoming more and more stable.
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The ability to get out and enjoy the sunshine and to enjoy being in the presence of others, something that has long evaded me. This can only be done by identifying and illuminating whatever fear I have in each moment that prevents me from completely showing up in each moment. I know that one of my greatest fears is that I will be misunderstood - this happens even among those who are closest to me - I very much dislike being misunderstood because it is my most sincere intention that the highest good be served for all in each interaction, each instance, each moment. Even in this crazy world with all of its temptation, there is no reason we should forget about this basic aspect of manifestation.
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The ability to constantly see everyone in their highest light, even if I disagree, or are uncomfortable, or am annoyed - I want to keep the highest esteem of everyone in my mind's eye, and certainly my own highest esteem. I continually bash myself with my perception of my disabled and unattractive body with all its physical limitations, and blame it as the cause of all rejection by both others and myself. I have to be able to change this and to be able to stop casting this judgment upon myself that I am bad, unworthy, ugly, weak, rejected. Only by doing this will my external reality begin to change, and begin to support my existence instead of always validating my experience of rejection.
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I have to stop buying cigarettes and begin to use the SmokStik. Hello - that's why I bought the stupid thing in the first place.
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I have to find a way to allow more physical, mental, and emotional intimacy into my life. I can't tell you what a difference this made for me, and how its absence ripped my soul open. For whatever role I played in creating this, conscious or unconscious, in this lifetime or another, I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I Love you.
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Eat. I have to eat.
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(to be continued)

Another Saturday Night...

...was like living in a dream. I want the dream to be my real life.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

A little Joe Vitale

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4909785929860351761&ei=j8ThStW_BY-cqAPvkuD8DQ&q=ho+opono&hl=en#

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Those are some super-clearing words. Please forgive me for anything conscious or unconscious, in this life, a past or parallel life, which contributed to the situation before me. I am sorry for my part in this. Thank you for releasing me from this. I love you. Spoken directly to God as a way to clear and heal.

A little blue now and then

Gosh I can feel the anxiety in anticipation of voicing that I am feeling insignificant and such because it is so the opposite of who I really am. I must be needing a booster shot in the arm. I want a magic wand so that I can sweep away everyone's despair. I have the gift (curse?) of processing other people's emotions and I need help now and again navigating my way through all the stuff. I have stuff. Everybody does. We are only human.

Breathe, breathe.

I INTEND THAT I ALLOW MYSELF THE FREEDOM TO BE THE FULL EXPRESSION OF LOVE THAT I AM IN EACH MOMENT.

I love this woman.

http://eloheim.info/wordpress/?p=1566




Feels like me to me

Indigos can have any combination or all of the following characteristics:

Highly intuitive, empathic and psychically sensitive
Disruptive, unruly and argumentative
Very creative in the arts, music, technology and writing
Opposed to rules and regulations
Communicates with and are sensitive to animals
Becomes depressed easily, which can lead to suicide
Prone to addiction and substance abuse, especially alcohol and drugs
Good at self-sabotage, and often frustrated with their life direction
Able to see the truth in all things and know when they are being lied to
Have a strong sense of integrity and demand it from others
Are often diagnosed with dyslexia, ADD, ADHD or auditory processing problems
Are very direct with comments, almost to the point of rudeness
Need peace and calm (although they can cause much chaos)
Always feel alone, out of place and different from others, also like to be left alone
Have few friends and the ones they have are usually Indigos
Very intelligent but are under-achievers
Take a long time to ‘grow up’, do not know how to be in society
Lack of self confidence, can be to the point of self-hatred
Can become angry and have trouble controlling their anger, which is usually from frustration
Have a strong need for love, understanding and acceptance
Have an innate understanding of spirituality although they are not open about their gifts

Both the younger and adult Indigos take their time to find their life path. Many are still wondering what to do with their life after age 40. Many adult Indigos will not marry or have children until they are well into their thirties. But they won’t be alone, this is the ‘roommate generation’ and many of them will live with room mates, who will become their surrogate or extended family, for a long time. When they decide to marry, they will.

Indigos also often make terrible choices in romantic partnerships. They are highly sensitive and empathic and tend to choose the person who needs them the most, which is also the person who needs the most help. And the results can be disastrous.

Today's Children--Indigos and Suicide (I have to get to work on the suggestions in this section to move past my recent bout with overwhelming depression, especially at recognizing what belongs to me and what I am processing that does not belong to me).

Indigos and Suicide, Part One
This is a difficult topic for me to write about because it reminds me of a particularly challenging period in my son's life when he contemplated suicide and the fear that I experienced wondering whether I would come home one day and find that he had gone through with it. While he never told me that it was a consideration, I knew that he often walked that fine line. There were things in his life that he could not reconcile and he had difficulty coping with. The possibility of suicide was, in his mind, an option because it would stop the pain that he was feeling. That is the downside of the extreme sensitivity that Indigos have--they feel their pain very deeply and become so wounded that they cannot find their way out of it. They consider suicide in moments of desperation, when they believe that no other solution is possible.
Indigos struggle with thoughts of suicide more than other generations before them. And many of them do follow through with the process, leaving a trail of grief behind them. They have trouble accepting things and since many Indigos have had difficult childhood experiences, their wounds are often painful and deep. Their empathic abilities serve to amplify the pain that they feel and add to it the pain of those around them. My son had many Indigo friends, many of whom were struggling with their own problems. I sometimes felt that he was processing his friends' emotions as well as his own. For three years we struggled with this problem, going through counseling, drug therapy (briefly) and spent much time talking. The drugs seemed to make things worse as Indigos can have unusual reactions to drugs and can also be intolerant of them. And, since they are prone to addiction, can also become addicted to many types of medication.
While my son did not commit suicide, he had several friends who did and it was a very sad and difficult experience for everyone. Each parent whose Indigo children go through emotional issues and painful experiences needs to understand that their children are unable to turn off their emotions as we have learned to do. And they also process the emotional energy around them, which they can believe is their own. Since they are highly empathic and intuitive, teaching them how to channel their empathic energy more effectively will help them to understand which emotional energy is theirs and what belongs to others. Effective communication between children and parents is always necessary with Indigo children because they can imagine all sorts of things and often have trouble distinguishing between reality and their beliefs and fears. Although they are highly intelligent, they also tend to be emotionally immature and need much more support than they will acknowledge. Through several years of talking, working through issues, teaching my son how to focus his empathic energy and letting him know that I was there for him, we were able to get through this difficult period and he is now well past it. It is a challenge that many parents of Indigos face but one that they can, with effort, help their children through. It is not easy but it can be done. Please write to me if you are experiencing this issue with your child-teen or young adult-and let me share what worked for me with you.
Indigos and Suicide, Part Two
Last week I wrote about Indigos and suicide, sharing with you my difficult and challenging experiences with my Indigo son and many of you wrote to me about your own experiences with your Indigo children. The pain, confusion and frustration that you shared with me had a common theme, many of you were writing about Indigo children who were in the eighteen to twenty year old age range. This is a particularly difficult age for Indigos, who are supposed to be leaving home and entering the world, but many of them are stuck, afraid to leave home. And they are depressed, drinking and/or using drugs or have simply dropped out and are not doing anything at all. As a generation, most of us were either in college or married at this age and we are frustrated with our children's behavior. And overwhelmed by and frightened at the depths of their depression, anger and apparent inability to move forward or to move out of the black hole that they seem to be in. Can we help them?
Some Indigos are intimidated by what they see as a challenge to meet or exceed their parents' successes and their parents represent a very successful generation. Others are afraid that they will not measure up to society's heavy expectations of this generation. Some just want to do exactly the opposite of what their parents are doing, not because they are trying to be difficult, but because they want to create their own path in life and they feel that doing what their parents are not doing is the best place to start. Still others simply do not know what they want to do and are overwhelmed by the vast range of options that they have and the challenge of choosing one thing and being successful at it, as their parents did. What if they don't like it-will they be stuck with it?
As a generation Indigos are a very creative, intuitive and motivated and they do everything with purpose and intention. So when they get stuck, they do it well. But they can be moved out of their black hole, with help. One thing that I have noticed is that many Indigos were bullied by their peers as children and they suffered for being 'different.' Whatever emotions they felt at the time they are carrying with them into their early adulthood and the fear of being bullied, of being persecuted for who they are, how they look or act, seems to have re-awakened in many of them. The solution that I have always proposed for parents of Indigo children is to communicate with them, to talk about their fears, learn where their interests lie, to reassure them and to help them learn to be comfortable with their differences. The Indigo energy will not conform to rules and regulations and they will not be able to work at jobs or careers that they do not like or that are not suited to their gifts and talents. But they are creative enough to find alternatives that suit them, if they are supported in their efforts. Rather than being frustrated with them, although their behavior is frustrating, we need to ask why they feel the way they do, instead of asking them what is wrong with them. This is a challenging situation for any parent and it can be made less difficult by making an effort that starts with communication. The situation will not be resolved overnight, but it will improve, over time. And your Indigo child may, like mine eventually did, climb out of the black hole, find their path and blossom into their creative energy.
Indigos and Suicide, part 3
This continues this month's series on Indigos and Suicide. I have received so many messages from parents, teachers and healers that I was guided to write an additional commentary on this very important topic. Please note that while I have not written anything about Crystal children in some time it is because they are not at the same point in their evolution as the Indigos are. Indigo children, many now in their late teens and early adulthood, are reaching a crisis point now and they are struggling with their purpose in the world, their ability to carry out their mission and dealing with their gifts and talents. Many Indigos who contemplate suicide do so when they are deeply depressed-and depression is a big problem for Indigos. They can no longer make sense of their lives, themselves and see no future past their current situation. They do not know how to get from where they are to the next step in their lives. And, this is a generation that grew up on video games where they had to 'die' to get to the next level. Are they taking that concept into their reality, not understanding its implications?
While the Indigo energy is wonderfully creative when expressed positively, it can be very destructive in its negative expression. And that extends not only to the Indigos outer world, but also their inner world. They are often their own worst enemies, creating a host of problems and difficulties for themselves (and their parents). Indigos are a generation that requires involved parenting, where the parents need to be present in their lives in every sense, including emotionally. Most parents are stressed with demanding jobs and lifestyles and do not have time to be there for their children. This is when Indigos get into trouble. And they seem to deliberately push their parents away at the time when they are in greatest need of their insight and attention. When an Indigo says 'I can handle this' it usually means that they are over their heads and desperately need help, even though they won't ask for it and will accept it very reluctantly.
The tragedy of a child suicide is unthinkable, not only to the family but to society in general. These children have much to contribute and teach us and we need to be an active presence in their lives. When my Indigo son finally came out of his suicidal period, he wrote me a letter in which he expressed his gratitude at the unwavering love that I gave him, even when he was at his most unlovable and told me that he probably would not be here if it weren't for my efforts. As I write this, several years after receiving that letter, I am overcome with emotion because I know how much he suffered and how difficult it was for him to make the decision to stay. I had to convince him that his place was here, that moving to the next level meant finding the best outlet for his skills and gifts and together we worked on discovering what those were. We can help our children make the decision to stay, to find their path and create happiness, self-confidence and find their gifts, by teaching them that the next level is attainable by becoming who they are, finding or creating their path and living it with passion, no matter what it looks like. They also need to learn to accept the love and help of those who they chose as their parents and spiritual teachers by knowing that they there for them when they need it the most, whether or not they are willing to accept their help. They eventually will and the world will benefit from their experiences. They will also teach other Indigos how to get to the next level in their spiritual path by staying on this one. I hope that together we can help the Indigos and help them get past this difficult period and make suicide an option that they do not even consider.
About the author
Jennifer Hoffman is an intuitive, spiritual healer, mentor, teacher and author. She also channels the energy of the Archangel Uriel. Jennifer has helped many people through the Shift through her unique insights and counsel, facilitating their healing journey. Jennifer is the founder of www.urielheals.com, an on-line spiritual healing and growth center and dedicated to the messages and teachings of Archangel Uriel. Information about Jennifer's books, on-line seminars and services is available at her websites, or email healing@urielheals.com for information.
Article Copyright © 2007, 2008. by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved.

Friday, October 23, 2009

I knew it was coming.

Crying with joy is always followed by a crash.
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Oh well, maybe some other day.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

On one hand...

...I am aware of the formidable task ahead of me in reclaiming my life, to the extent that I am able. It is clearly not going to be easy, and I am starting to strengthen to the point where I can begin to contemplate it all.
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That being said, there is more to be happy about than sad, check this out - from my horoscope for Friday - just *reading* about nesting with my friends visiting - was enough to make me joyful! I am such a lover, and so love to be "tuned in tapped in turned on," as Esther Hicks says LOL, or "in the flow" as athletes say, or "filled with the Holy Spirit" as some say. Same stuff, different description. So anyway, I'm getting to where I can connect to that more and more, but it has got to be an everyday deal if I am going to get my life back, which is my intention, so I am seeing it more and more (as anticipated):
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"How great it is to be at home! Today, you want to enjoy the comfort and gentleness of your home where you feel good and in security. There, you can dream at leisure of the improvements you want to bring to your cosy little nest for the sake of your family's well being, unless you prefer to dive in the nostalgia of your souvenirs and your photo albums... If you are in a more active mood, you may want to clean up the house from floor to ceiling or you may try to implement your lovely arrangement and decoration ideas... In short, the atmosphere is nice and, if your close friends share your activities, you experience a deep feeling of inner peace."
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Ah, what delicious feelings of joy! I love it that I have access to that feeling just at the very thought. Awesome job!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Michael Bernard Beckwith


Agape is now beginning streaming video all services from Culver City. They are asking a fee of $5.99 until they can get the video feed up and running and free to everyone GLOBALLY. This is an awesome opportunity to attend Agape if it is too far away from home (like for myself), and to help spread his amazing message to everyone in the world!

Friday, October 16, 2009

A week of the flu.

Nothing much going on these days, I am recovering from a week of a severe case of the flu, with fever, heavy chest and head congestion, sweats, and a little abdominal cramping. Thankfully no nausea or vomiting. I slept well Thursday night and woke up Friday lying on my back breathing through my nose, which is a great sign. Still lots of congestion. I wish there was a no-snot pill.
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Had to cancel all credit and debit cards and get them reissued with new numbers due to fraudulent activity on two of them. I can only guess that it was a computer hacker that got the information, who knows. But, during this process I discovered a lost credit card, so I just asked that they all be cancelled and reissued. DRAMA.
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My mother reports that she is at her wits' end and does not want to live with my sister anymore, and I want to do something about it but cannot. I protested strongly when she unilaterally decided to make that move, and warned her repeatedly. Now she has to lie in the bed she made until circumstances allow her and sister to part ways. She tells me that she will actually cut all contact with sister and the children, that she does not want them to know where she is or have anything to do with them at all. I can vouch that the situation is beyond hopeless, and that I am sad to see that the generations of family dysfuntion are going to be repeated indefinitely as my neices and nephews grow up and have their own families.
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As for me, I am reaching the stage where I am beginning to think about what it is that I want to do with my life since all ties have been cut from my former life as a claims examiner. In trying to find what it is that sparks my passion, it is so curious to try to revisit youth because I find that I have forgotten what it was that I wanted to do in the first place. I suppose it is just a matter of finding what is my passion and acting on that for now. I most certainly love metaphysics and the expansion of consciousness awareness, so I wonder how I will be able to make that a vocation, if I am able.
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Right now I just want to shower and eat and clean up my dirty house. My energy is low and I am going to have to continue to take it easy for probably another week.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Attending Angel Reading

by Christie Pennington, http://thelightspeakers.com/



The Foundation

Your Attending Angel unlike your Guardian Angel is not with you throughout your lifetime. Each of us has a succession of Attending Angels beginning in young adulthood. They are called in by our Guardian Angel to assist us with specific aspects of our spiritual journey, whereas your Guardian Angel assists you in a broader more general way.

Your Attending Angel shares many of the same qualities as your Guardian Angel though in a manner that is specific to the goal or focus they are working on with you. Your Attending Angel will be present from about six months to a maximum of two years. The length of time is determined by the specific focus and though a new direction due to this guidance may be implemented early on in this association, you’re Attending Angel will remain in attendance until you are steadfast, firm and comfortable in maintaining any changes you have made.

This angel serves as a communicator, mentor and conduit of Grace from the higher realms serving to promote growth in a specific area in your life. Though you are made aware of this focus and may be able to address it quickly, there will be multiple effects resulting from the original issue that take more time to resolve. Another Attending Angel will then be called in to work with you on another area for development.

It is a pleasure of service for this Angel to attend you; however your Angel can serve much more effectively if you request this assistance and are open to a close communicative relationship by honoring and exploring the information this Angel offers you. This experience will help you to learn much more about yourself, enable you to enhance your gifts and talents, enrich your life’s meaning and deepen your spirituality.

Your Attending Angel is never a substitute for your connection to the Light, but enables you to raise your frequency in such a way that your connection is much stronger and brighter.

Your Attending Angel’s name is particular and specific to the work being implemented. The name that has come through for your Attending angel comes with particular resonance for you at this time. The name is not looked up under your birth day or month or copied from an Angel book but is brought in directly through intuitive energetic connection and communication.

In order to attune to the celestial frequency it is extremely helpful to utilize the vibration of sound; therefore saying/sounding your Attending Angel’s name brings you much more easily into this resonance. The Angels themselves have no need of names in their own realm since they are already attuned to that frequency but in order for us as physical beings to reach that same frequency it is very helpful to utilize specific tools such as you are receiving here.

The syllables of your Angel’s name are brought through imbued with specific energy and a distinct vibration relative to what is most needed by you at this time. Sound as a beneficial sacred practice. Pronouncing your Attending Angel’s name will help you to elevate your spirit. It is not for the benefit of your Angel, but for your own. Your Angel is already attuned to and existing within this higher frequency In order for us as physical beings to reach that same frequency it is very helpful to utilize specific tools such as you are receiving now from your Angel.

Along with the sound vibration there is also a color resonance that multiplies the energy and provides a focal point of concentration as a tangible reminder of your Angel’s presence. To align with your Attending Angel’s color resonance you may choose to wear a piece of clothing or an accessory in that color hue, choose candles and perhaps other home accessories to bring this to your environment. Color has been used for healing in many cultures, both known such as certain indigenous cultures and those undocumented such as the Atlantean culture. Colors as refractions of light have properties we as an advanced civilization are only now beginning to use and understand.

Your current predominant chakric disposition orchestrates life lessons in a particular way, learning those that are predominant and those which need more attention is integral to promoting present spiritual growth efficiently.

Your Attending Angel provides information about the scent, symbol, number and crystal/stone and their meanings relative to your spiritual journey that it is helpful for you to visualize and work with. At times I will be asked to look up something relative to these in order to provide you with examples or drawings.

Establishing a deep and intimate relationship with your Attending Angel is not difficult, you are given here all that you will need to make this connection but as you continue in your association with your Angel you will likely have requests of your Angel that will arise.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind regarding your Angelic requests that are applicable not only to your association with your Attending Angel but any time you are communicating with any of the Angels from the Celestial Realm.

Consider Your Request

Be certain that what you request comes from an open heart and a place of pure intention for the highest and best for all concerned. Try not to stipulate the manner in which you believe your request should be met, stay open and leave the details of the “how” it will be met to the Angels. As instruments of the Light they are given unlimited capacity to serve and to help you to recognize your own unlimited nature. Why attempt to limit the Light, the Angels or yourself by outlining the means of your desire’s fulfillment.

Make sure your intention relates primarily to you. Request assistance for change within your self not for another, you will find the result quite amazing!

Always express gratitude even if it may appear that your assistance hasn’t yet come or doubt arises. Gratitude allows the energy that your Angel is trying to bring to you to flow much more easily. Your gifts are already given, express heartfelt gratitude with trust that it is so.


Your Attending Angel ‘s
Name
Loenthael
(pronounced Lo en thale)

Meaning Of Name
Steadiness of purpose
Strength of Truth

Distribution Of
Male/Female Essence
Predominately male in essence

Color Concentration
Indigo

Scent/Aromotherapy/Incense
Cedar

Symbol/Shape
Spiral

Stone/Crystal
Black Obsidian

Element
Copper

Chakra Focus
Sacral

Current Spiritual Goal
Strengthening your vital life force to merge with and solidify your higher intuitive abilities.

Affirmation
I embody my strength and vitality allowing it to feed my higher knowing

Delineation:

Meaning of Loenthael’s Name
Your Angel’s name reflects the current spiritual goal you are to work with. A focus on steadiness of purpose, solidifying your desires and strengthening the truth of these desires leading to your purpose now.

Color Concentration
It is recommended that you use the depth of Indigo in any way possible whether in your surroundings in some way as in candles, pillows tablecloth etc. or in some type of clothing or clothing accessory.
The strength of this color compliments your focus. When using color in any of these suggested ways remember that it is an aspect of light and be observant of its effect upon you. If you are feeling an inadequacy in regard to your goals at any point, utilize your color as a means of focus, also use it as a visualization by focusing on it as healing light on an area of concern either mental or physical

Scent/Aromatherapy or Incense
Cedar, a strong scent of hardiness also reflecting your present goal, it is also clear scent best used by you in either candles or incense for strengthening clarity and resilience.

Symbol/Shape
Spiral symbolizing Cosmic life Force, also indicative of the spiritual journey, it is also seen in the DNA molecule. If possible it is suggested that you walk a labyrinth to increase its effects or simply spend some time daily doodling this shape to inscribe its benefits within you.

Element
Copper; Copper is a healing metal. Copper has been used as a healing metal for arthritis and rheumatism which reflect rigidity as well with blood and metabolism disorders; however it will help the healing effect of any stone/crystal/gem and acts as a conductor when worn on the body. Any stone set in copper or used with copper with have an enhanced energy field.

Chakra Focus
Sacral; connecting point to strengthen you chakras alignment. This chakra must be strong for the others to line up and revolve properly.
Ground from your sacral chakra by seeing a column of light descending downward into the earth through the first chakra. then see the light return upward through the first to the sacral once again where is revolves clockwise as a bright light orange glow. Then this glowing light turn white and see it proceed upward through the successive chakras to the third eye where it becomes indigo , then again becomes white and moves up through the crown into the eighth chakra above the crown (soul star) and becomes a soft violet mist that moves upward again through the higher chakras and upper realms.
This process serves to strengthen your deeper primal life force connecting it with the earth and then merging with the cosmic force of higher knowing.

Affirmation
This affirmation said morning and night upon awakening and before sleep brings greater awareness to your present spiritual goal while planting it firmly within the deeper layers of your being.

Current Spiritual Goal
Loenthael is assisting you in your ability to recognize, strengthen, meld, merge and balance your innate life force energy with the higher mind. Strengthening the lower sacral center of primary force will then feed the upper center of intuitive knowing with greater intensity. Increasing your intuitive abilities while solidifying your confidence and assurance in them. Working at this time with only with your intuitive centers themselves does not bring you enough strength. You are advised not to block your vitality which is an intense resource for your spiritual development at this time.
This spiritual focus is evident for a period of 8 months to a year during which time you will experience an ever increasing sense of inner fortitude and outer action satisfaction. In the latter portion of this time period you will find a far greater ability to bring in strong inner guidance that will assist you in fulfilling two of your strongest desires, one which involves a romantic relationship. (HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT??) Toward the latter portion of this time period your desires and focus will begin to shift as you have satisfied some former desires and you will find a deeper yearning for things less individually material and more universally spiritual.

Rejoice

Friday, October 9, 2009

We do not Preach to the Choir.

It is not my intention to be preachy or to demand that anyone subscribe to anything that is posted on these pages, or to behave in any particular manner. I offer the passages from other websites that make my heart sing when I read them, and which resonate as true for me based upon changes that I have observed in my own level of awareness by instituting the principles outlined in the passages. Everyone is free to draw their own conclusion about what fits into their own lives and about what works for them. We are all in this together.
LOVE TO ALL, JUDGMENT FOR NONE, FOR WE ARE ONE

On Childhood.

I was reading a passage in Winifred Barton's I Am: The Book of Life, as follows:
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"The infant mind is like a honeycomb of bright, hollow bubbles -- each one waiting to light up and be filled by a genuine identity experience. If pain or trauma is involved, ego closes down like a shutter, with varying degrees of thickness according to the amount of emotional shock experienced. If crushing episodes start early in life, the personality develops a habit of hesitancy before reacting to any stimuli, always on the alert for hurtful intent."
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Since I am exploring the roots of my anti-social nature, wherein I seek solitude, or, the company of a highly-trusted companion, above incidental, and exploratory social behavior, this struck me instantly. I recalled in my early childhood, after initially growing up with a full-time stay-at-home-mom, being thrust into the world of the institutional Christian model of the Day Care Center, still a mid-century concept that has pretty much gone by the wayside, as far as I can tell. Now, the occasional spanking at ire of a parent was known, even before the day school experience, and the administrators of both day care and the public schools were happy to continue the rituals of spanking the guilty parties in front of all the other children as a tool of conformity. But wow, the violence encountered at day care and school shut me completely off from everyone. I chose solitude over the interaction resulting in physical harm, strain, or pain that was characteristic of the larger group. There were probably over 100 kids and there were 6-8 adults. And we were allowed to roam freely on this several acre site during the summer, and a large playground the rest of the year with little supervision. Let the bloodbath begin.
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It was always shocking to me that others were interested in chasing, hitting, kicking, fighting, inflicting pain and basically making life miserable. And as if that were not enough, the institutions of school even fostered this with the dreaded dodge ball, I mean, what the fuck? Getting bombarded with balls throw at your face? Really?
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Even in adulthood, I will not go into a crowded place, especially a bar, where I have no control over my physical safety. People are just crazy and will knock you over, jab you with elbows, squeeze you beyond anything that even resembles a comfortable embrace and try to pick you up (what the fuck?) and other assorted intrusive and painful ways. Yikes!
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But this is also occurring on the emotional level - attempting to shield myself from any painful emotion as a result of an interaction with another keeps me in solitide frequently. I prefer the company of a highly-trusted friend or solitude to exploring new relationships.
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I'll be having a deeper look at this. I enjoy intellectual and emotional intimacy a great deal, and yet I prohibit myself from cultivating same. Why?
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LOVE TO ALL, JUDGMENT FOR NONE, FOR WE ARE ONE

Fun anybody?

I have been having trouble remembering the last time I had alcohol to drink. I am thinking it was wine when I was in the desert in late April when the pain doc agreed that I should go away and get some sunshine to combat depression. I am so profoundly relaxed now that my depression lifted and I gained some spiritual insights that had long troubled me, I guess I have no urge whatsoever to drink. I was never a big drinker in adulthood, and was always a lightweight, prone to sickness, headaches, and vomiting if I drank the smallest bit over my two-drink maximum - a lesson learned in my twenties before I understood the effects of alcohol on my well-being. Sometimes I wonder if I am missing out when I see people having what seems to be so much fun, during the consumption of alcohol. I derive from this the idea that I need to get out and have more fun. Especially now that I am beginning to feel almost like a person again.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Dreamtime.

I never remember my dreams. For some reason last night, I was conscious throughout the Dreamtime, recognizing dreams that had been recurring over and over again for quite some time. I know that once I had a recurring dream for 10 years that just stopped one day. Anyway, the dreams I had last night were really strange, because some of them have story lines that had reached a certain point and then stopped. No matter how many times I have had the dreams, I was never able to see past a certain point in the story, no matter where I looked or which detail I focused upon. But last night, some of the dreams resolved. It was so strange to get forward motion when for so long stagnation had been present. Some of them are very abstract, and some are very explicit.
If you had questioned me yesterday, I would have denied any conscious knowledge of these dreams or of their significance. The one that seemed to resolve concerned my feeling of being alone in the world. The dream takes place in Hawaii, at a hotel or residence with a large, thin rectangular-shaped swimming pool, like for 5 people to do laps next to each other, and a cafeteria or restaurant in which to eat. This dream always left me feeling the same as in my daytime conscious state, floundering around and looking for my "family," feeling very vulnerable, isolated, anxious, judged, fearful. But last night, there were tons of people everywhere in my dream, and my "family" showed up, in a car I think, we ate and were sociable, and we went into the pool. But then, I was surrounded on all sides by those who were judgmental, and exited the pool, clutched a towel, and snuck my way out, feeling either fearful or judged or shameful or some combination of these. It was strange. Does this mean that I Am now going to meet my "family" of like-minded people? Are they in Hawaii? Does the dream simply reference my spiritual studies and newfound understanding and devotion to the expression of love in every moment, to all of creation - meaning that I have joined the legion of others who were already on that wavelength?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Soul Spirit Family of Light

Carolyn Myss

Worth revisiting.

http://www.markmezadourian.com/www.markmezadourian.com/Podcasts/Entries/2009/6/25_AATrioClearing.html
Short guided meditation - I love to listen to it on the way to sleep. The amount of expansion it gives is breathtaking.

Everything is OK

I love this channel - it speaks much Truth

5 October 2009 - 11:00am
Channeler: John Smallman
"The ascension process, the move into full consciousness cannot and will not be delayed – neither will it happen tomorrow. Nevertheless live as though it will. If that is disappointing, then so be it. Its time is imminent, but you must open your hearts in forgiveness and love to receive it. Many of you are wavering and doubtful, and are having difficulty in holding the intent for its arrival. As you experience time it does seem that you have been intending for a long time, and to no avail. This is not the case, and you need to renew your intent and intensify your vision of this momentous event. You are approaching the moment when the veil will slip from before your eyes, so do not let your strength and determination flag when the race is almost run. Abundant help is continuously available for the asking, so ask for it, allow it, and use it. That is what it is for.

I know that you are growing weary of exhortations to continue holding the light, the intent, the certainty that you are about to enter full consciousness where all your fears and anxieties will dissolve. But the exhortations are essential! They are reminders, wake up calls to confirm the absolute requirement that you do your part in this cooperative heavenly venture. Every one of you has a part to play that is pivotal. Being One with God how could your part not be pivotal? You totally underestimate your worth, your importance, your abilities, and your competence, all of which are needed in the divine plan. God, however, does not. He knows that you can and will play your parts with great skill and efficiency.
Accept each moment of your life as it occurs, and know that you have chosen all the things that you experience for the lessons they provide. Forgiveness of your self and of others for pain and suffering you experience is paramount , including your awareness of others’ suffering. Grudges and resentments harbored against others or yourself absolutely have to be released because they block your ability to be unconditionally loving. In the state of full consciousness you are only love – there is no other way to be. If you bear grievances of any kind it is impossible for you to be fully consciousness, because they close you down into smallness and separation where love cannot enter.
Many of you still harbor grudges, feelings of betrayal or abandonment, and a felt need for recompense. You are not exempt, and a sense of righteousness for what has apparently been done to you is inappropriate, as you have most definitely visited similar suffering on others.
And none of it really happened – except in the dream… in the illusion. So open your hearts in total, limitless, indiscriminate forgiveness of everyone on the planet, including yourself. Deep within you, below the level of consciousness you experience in the dream , you believe you are guilty, so to forgive yourself is just as important as forgiving others.
There is nothing for you to be ashamed of: You have done nothing because you are not here – here does not exist! Know that you are completely innocent, embrace total forgiveness, and experience perfect peace, tranquility, and love."
With so very much love, as always, Saul.
http://snoedel.punt.nl/?r=1&id=479133