Benjamin came.

So I met this guy (he is 30 so is hardly a kid) who is bartering companionship and cooking and cleaning in exchange for a couch to sleep on. He is a musician in a play that is going to run in Newport Beach, and lives way in the North Valley. I totally get that - the commute would just be too much for any sane person. And so I am looking for stimulation, right? Why not. Seems nice enough. We'll see.

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Today Michael came to check on us, and we were still pretty groggy from staying up too late. I went to bed in my bed and Benjamin went to bed in his bed - the couch - I am not sure what Michael was expecting exactly, but it was nothing at all. I went to physical therapy. When I got home, Michael came to see me and we talked for a little bit and ultimately went to the hot tub. I got in and began to stretch. I closed my eyes. I was grabbing the edge of the tub, looking away from its center, directly opposite Michael. I felt as though I was being scanned from head to toe like a computer or something, and that information was being gathered, like I was acting as a collection station and was now reporting the information I have been collecting about physicality, thereby being relieved of that duty. What a relief! But I hope Michael was not taking on my experience. If so, you must discharge it soon! Not hang onto it! The job is done! Let go! It does no good for you to wallow around in my muck, and if you do, it does not help me transcend the muck myself.

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My heart chakra opened more and more. The water announced its presence and intention to purify me - I love it when that happens. I am not drinking enough water. The water was really hot, so after I stretched, we got out and layed in lounge chairs. We took in the beauty of a magnificent tall tree. I had access to parts of my heart chakra that I do not ordinarily have access to, and this is a pretty regular occurrence when I am in Michael's presence, so it is not new to me, but always blows me away (thank you for this precious gift). I decided I was hungry and we came in and I lied down a minute, thankful for the opportunity to step out of the sheer desperation of my current emotional state, even if only for a little while. I became conscious again of the burning, aching in my center low back. I'll ask Benjamin to caress that area gently, with long strokes, so as to re-route the pain signals - he should be here by 10. That's what he is bartering and that is what I need, right? I can hardly wait. And I am not interested in him sexually, for the record.

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I was going to make a cheeseburger, but I ate strawberry/banana yogurt with cereal and OJ instead, since this was my first meal. I will make cheeseburgers later for me and Benjamin, unless he decides he wants to do it. I mean, I'm worn out. This ascension business is tough work.

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I also came up onto the Wall, literally, in my awareness, of the collective belief system and and the crap that goes with separation in this density, which we must overcome to make the leap of consciousness into the next dimension. It's not going to be easy, but we have to think really, really BIG. We are so stuck down here at the ground level swimming in the muck that we cannot see that we could actually make this leap if we played our cards right. I am so ready.

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LOVE TO ALL, JUDGEMENT FOR NONE, FOR WE ARE ONE.