I've got it! I have no idea what life on this planet is about. I have no use for the competition employed to obtain everything from food to Love. Everyone's lack mentality is making me ill. I got caught up in trying to manage in this paradigm, employing competition to provide for myself, and it left me penniless, living from paycheck to paycheck, loveless, disabled, estranged from family, friendless except for a very select few, directionless, and unable to get some very basic things accomplished.
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Time to erase the disc and start again.
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The constant frustration must mean that I experience constant growth, however, which is peculiar because I cannot see the growth from this perspective (in my own head). Only when I step out and observe myself do I see it.
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So where's the surface and how do I break through?
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