Jesse came to see me.

I am so pleased that he feels that my home is safe when he is having anxiety. That is so cool! He was bouncing ideas off me and I was playing counselor sort of but did not even know he was anxious in any way. He hid it well. I have been very stiff and sore in the neck and shoulders and the doc scolded me for not taking Robaxin regularly - so I had to start that again - oh great more drugs in my system. But I also wanted a lemonade with a vodka splash. I had to apologize to Jess for tempting him. He is doing so well with that! I wish I had a magic wand to fix the anxiety and crazy workload that Jess endures, and the anxiety and depression that makes Michael suffer.
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We watched Batman - Dark Knight - was a bit gory and I got disinterested after Rachael died in the fire. It was great to see my best buds! I want to come out of my shell and be my wild and crazy self again, so that I don't bore them to tears and so that they will feel like being around me more than when I am in depressed pity-party mode. Wow, how I missed them after only a few days of being separated. Their hugs are magical, and I am so blessed by their friendship. It *still* makes me simply ill to have to go home to bed alone at night, upstairs from two of the people I love most. I want to go crawl in with them! It seems so unfair. I am focusing on releasing my attachment to having the wonderful newlywed kind of relationship that they share, but deep down, it is exactly what I want.

You know what, I've asked my guides and my angels and my higher self to fix this for me, because I can't, and I am ready to go Home now if I can't bring Home here.