Full Moon Lunar Eclipse

The astrologists and channelers continue to write about the profound energy available to us to clear our emotions and heal. I can tell you that my experience has been no different. As I recall, within the past 3 weeks, I have been absolutely suicidal, actually told Goddess that I was ready to leave the planet, only to be visited by an entity (while awake!) that evening who told me that I was not going anywhere, and showed me a sneak preview of what was coming so that I would agree to stick around and continue my mission. I bounced off that a little bit, and continued to do energy work, and then a channeler named Veronica (posted a couple days ago) showed me that I have NOT been fully present in each moment, as I thought I had been for several months now. No - there was still brain chatter holding me back, but now I have tasted a glimpse of what it is to live on the other side of that veil, away from all mental chatter, and how it will improve my life.

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So it turns out that I closed my heart chakra as a small child, and always avoided contact with most men the entire time I was growing up, and even to this day, because of physical, verbal and emotional abuse by my father and teenagers older than me, at the church no doubt. My father was violently angry, or absent. When he finally divorced my mother, it was a relief. I was not socialized by or with men, I was totally afraid of mens' aggression and physical abuse toward each other, and certainly did not play sports or any such thing. I always had a very innate connection with the Divine Feminine energy instead, cooperation, nurturing, etc.

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So anyway, it was Michael and Jesse who became the first men to treat me with an open heart, with respect, with affection, and this brought me out of complete withdrawal from society in general, and led to the continued work that I have been doing to clear emotions etc. I became extremely attached to them.

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So now I have unraveled an emotional energy block that has caused much destruction in my life, and that I hope I can reverse before it is too late. I closed my heart chakra and started smoking to isolate myself from people and to protect myself from agression, as the smokers were much more subdued and easygoing than the non-smoking religious right wingers that I grew up with. It worked. I've been single and alone my entire adult life. But now I have the opportunity to create something new, by going out there and living in each moment and making appropriate choices based upon what is true RIGHT NOW, rather than based on my brain chatter.

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Thanks boys! You continue to be such an inspiration for me to do my emotional clearing work, and I know it is difficult on us, and I love you so much for hanging in there anyway rather than walking away.